how dull for you to live your life without any hills to die on, you, on your vast flat barren plains of compromise, acceptance, and accommodation, while I reign supreme over the lush, rolling highlands of stupid shit I have irrationally chosen to stake my entire identity on
came up with a new pointless kink identity. it’s called friend dom. it’s when you have to come up with every activity for hangout sessions cuz your friend is too indecisive or laid back and never decides on what they wanna do
the one problem i have with people my age and younger is that a lot of us do not have hands on hobbies. like i have spoken to so many people my age who go to work, go to school and then fuck around on their phone/computer for hours and then ???????? like no wonder ur depressed and have low confidence in urself. u need to get ur hands on something, feed those dopamine receptors! learn how to play guitar, garden, scrapbook, fucking make model trains. i don’t give a shit, MAKE SOMETHING!!
it feels better than drugs when i finish making a thing—and then show it off or gift it.
and then so people my age say to me ‘well—i can’t draw/paint/knit/etc. like you can. my stuff would be terrible.’ yeah, well duh—a part of developing skill is sucking at something and then practicing it over and over and over again until you suck less. u’ll have a hard time feeling lonely or bored when you can’t stop thinking abt a technique you want to try or something you want to make for someone else. making things has SAVED MY LIFE. it gave me a reason to keep living day after day when i wanted to die.
making things have improved my generational relationships (when i worked for the newspaper i would talk to customers abt jamming recipes or cross-stitch, one of my grandmas always gives me pattern books and tell me abt when she knitted things for mom, my other grandma is giving me a wedding quilt that HER grandma gave her 50 years ago because she knows i will appreciate it). it also got me likeminded friends who also make things.
take a ceramics class! pick up water colors, bake cakes! learn to work on cars! make soap. DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE STARING AT A SCREEN.
Hobbies cost money, Helen.
Do you eat? Then you can have a hobby.
Can you see green outside? Can you get some dirt? Then you can have a hobby.
Do you have a pen and paper? Hobby.
Something with a keyboard? Hobby.
The ability to walk? Hobby.
Get creative and don't be a pessimist is step one Barabra.
Hobbies also require jobs that pay living wages for living hours so people have time & energy Helen.
You sit on the bus to get to your job?
You have time to read, or sketch the other passengers.
You have a lunch break?
You have time to crochet a few rows.
I knit a blanket while working a thankless call-centre job for minimum wage.
I have a friend who taught herself to code on her hour long bus ride.
Another made a vow to read 100 of the Classic works of literature — and read them on the bus home from her factory job.
My friend who works warehousing quilts after work while watching tv.
Learned helplessness isn’t sexy, and it isn’t helping you grow. Instead of whining about how hard life is, look for ways to improve it.
“The best thing about the bedroom was the bed. I liked to stay in bed for hours, even during the day with covers pulled up to my chin. It was good in there, nothing ever occurred in there, no people, nothing.”
